Fatso
Fatso
tripped up and flattened the baby in the pram. The fat woman shouted, "Can't
you people be more careful? Now I'm going to have to sleep with that gross
husband of mine again to get another, not to mention the wait for another nine
months. Oh get out of my sight will you." Fatso shrugged as he watched the
woman shuffle into the distance shaking her head. The crowd gathered around the
levelled former baby carrier and looked at Fatso, trying to work out his weight
to the nearest ton. Fatso soon forgot about the incident , headed off to the
McDonalds and ordered ten triple cheese burgers with chips. The door opened as
Fatso was quaffing his fifth burger, in walked the fat woman with her massively
fat husband. She noticed Fatso and pointed to him and said to her hubby
"that's him Wayne, the useless slob who fell on our Chelsea." It
looked like Wayne sympathised with Fatso, he appeared to have fallen on a few
luckless people himself, he sat down next to Fatso and shouted to his wife; "Carly!
get me two triple cheese burgers." Carly looked up to the ceiling and duly
obliged.
While
the two fat men waited for Carly they chatted about Chelsea, Wayne mentioned
Carly wanted to have another baby quickly as she was miffed about the loss of
her child. Wayne got serious and told Fatso that he wasn't Chelsea's biological
father, he was infertile. To father Chelsea Wayne asked his friend who had many
children to sleep with his wife in place of him." Wouldn't she know who I
was?" Fatso enquired. Just then Carly was returning, Wayne asked Fatso to
meet him in the Red Barrel pub that night and he would tell him how the feat
would be accomplished. Carly snarled at Wayne shouting, "why haven't you
chinned him yet you waste of oxygen?" "Now calm down Carly, Fatso's
upset as we are over the accident today, we are all a bit emotional, you finish
up here and I'll have a drink." Carly warned Wayne to get home early as
she saw no reason why they shouldn't start trying for a child straight away.
After a few pints in the Red Barrel the two men
discussed the master plan to get Carly impregnated. Wayne explained Carly
always went to bed at eleven sharp and always insisted the light was off during
the rare act. The spare key was underneath the plant pot outside number 4b
Henry Way. Fatso was worried, but thought it was the least he could do to help
the couple after flattening their only child. So off he went in the direction
of the flats. On the way he thought about how long it had been since he had a
coupling with a woman and even if he was up to the job. Fatso eventually found
himself in Carly's dark bedroom.
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