BBB

BBB

"Shall we let George Sendwhistle know Runner?" "No need to Spool, he's making cup cakes with the kids." "But this is of National importance, could make or break the BBB Runner." "Always worrying you Spool, it will be all right." "Well somebody has to Runner you seen how Bill Blowfield on ITB got into trouble with Mr Cameraman showing him lists of suspected paedophile gay boys." " Yeah sure, but that was different Spool, we have a witness." "Have you shown him any photos of his abuser Runner?" "Nah it will be him all right Spool, who else could have been there?" "Shall we get on with it then Spool?"  "If you say so Runner, as long as your sure of this."

"Mr Sendwhistle, do you read The Garbyion ever?" "What me John? Read that rag, sooner do watercolours with the kids." " It says Bluesnight should had been a bit more cautious before running a story on an abuse episode in the Dales." "Do call me George will you John you know I'm not a Stickler for formalities, anyway who are Bluesnight? Never heard of them." "OK George, I'll remind you they work for BBB and they wanted to run the Johnny Gravil  suspected abuse story that was shelved in favour of a tribute to Johnny Gravil?" " Who's Johnny Gravil John?" "Surely George you must be aware of him, he use to work at the BBB, now suspected of messing with children." "Well I never John, some of the people we work with eh? Sounds like a reet Porkshire lad, eh up. It wasn't any of my kids was it John? I'll chin the Bastard when I see him again."

"Mr Sendwhistle are you resigning over your failure to know what's going on in the BBB?" "Who are you lot?" "The Press Mr Sendwhistle." "Oh yeah I remember you guys, you report on Fartball matches and leggy Wigs, nudge, nudge no wharra mean?" "Anyway enough of that scandal and drivel, welcome to the BBB, come into my office." "Who's this Mr Sendwhistle?" "Oh him with the glittery suit and pipe, get out you and take that bunch of kids with you." "Does this usually go on in BBB buildings Mr Sendwhistle?" " Can't say I've ever seen or heard about it." "Did you let the episode of Bluesnight go out Mr Sendwhistle?" "Not me boss, anyway who are they? I'm sure someone asked me that today. Hang on a minute just got to make a call home." "OK Petal? Yes Viridian and Yellow Ochre, is your mummy there? She's chatting to a load of men with cameras is she? I'll see you later and we'll make more nice pictures, bye, bye  Petal."  "Now where was I? Ah yes, the programmes from the BBB are so good, we are all in complete control here." "Will you resign over the Bluesnight blunder George?" "You all keep asking me that, I've think I clarified my position on that one, I will be sending out a new leaflet on all the new winter blockbusters. Now please Gentlemen I must get home to make some scones, and help the kids with their homework. We do have lives outside of here you know!" "Any statement for us before we go George?" "Yes, I'll see Johnny Gravil when he returns from holiday." "You'll have a long wait Sir he's down below ground in Scarlesbarrow."  "Yes that was him, still working hard to raise money, great lad you know, haven't heard from him in ages."

"Mr Cameraman what about this payoff to Mr Sendwhistle, not bad for a lark." "Well Jelamy I blame it on the previous government, they should have spotted the rampant blonde Gravil well before now. We all said it, Top Of The Tots was bad for our kids." "Well Mr Cameraman you have a rampant blonde of your own in that Mr Lorus Jonkson, could you see him running the country never mind a marathon? Is he a harmless buffoon?" " Everyone's a threat in this job Jelamy." "So your position is safe then Mr Cameraman?" "Oh Absolutely, Jelamy."

"Anyway what about the bin lids in all of this Mr Cameraman?" "It's been attended to Jelamy, we have a plan for all kids today, Mr Sendwhistle is going to give them cookery lessons in cup cakes."

 "No, no Mr Cameraman the likes of the Dales and that?" "We have a plan for these places, we are turning them into cup cake kitchens, you will be surprised that the demand is increasing for home cooking and eating good wholesome food." " Won't this make all the kids fat Mr Cameraman?" "Well it will, but we can refuse to treat them on our new NHS structure, remember we all have a responsibility not to clog up the resources by putting on weight, or having any fun at all." "What about all those porky people in Parliament Mr Cameron?" "Ah! Jelamy but they contribute more in  usefulness to society, and they are from Elon most of them, don't you see?" "Erm no Mr Cameron, but do go on." " As I was saying we can't go on supporting the feckless poor and careless part of society at the expense of the blissfully unaware uncareful."  " Damn, you've took me off the subject again Mr Cameraman, will I ever get a straight answer in all this?" "I've been totally honest with you in all my answers Jelamy, there isn't much more we can do about it, every time we meet you bring up the same old lies, besmirching our policies and ideas. Really I can't take this interview any further. I'm off to the private club."

A bunch of abusers descend on a child again, while the dithering goes on........... 
  

Kevin Humphreys,  
November 2012.